How To: Embracing the Uncomfortable act of Empathy in Leadership
Every morning when I log in on my computer, the same message pops up across all three of my screens.
“Privilege is when you think something is not a problem because it’s not a problem to you personally.”
David Gaider
This definition of “privilege” is one that has been discussed by many various groups, toward good and bad. I believe that privilege is real and that I am lucky enough to have it. I feel energized because I recognize my privilege and desire to extend it to others.
I have this message facing me every day as a reminder to myself that I am privileged to comfortably sit behind this desk and make decisions that will, inevitably, affect my employee’s lives. In decisions of management and leadership, I have the option to extend or relinquish my comfort, to my employees. Am I going to use it?
I’ve worked in the technology field ever since I graduated high school and quit my grocery store bakery job and went on a summer search for a job fixing or using computers. My wife will attest to the fact that for the first 12 years of our marriage that I NEVER wanted to be a manager. I had seen both great and horrible examples of leadership from my management, but I never wanted to be that guy. Much of that changed when I moved to my current company and my management team not only created a culture of growth but that of empathy as well.
I don’t have a non-stop flow of employees in my office, as most of my employees are overseas. But this silent message is important, because employees still bring me their concerns, thoughts, needs, and wants via email, chat, and phone calls. As I process each one I am softly reminded that “While their problems may not be mine, this does not mean they are not REAL problems”.
This mentality has also helped me personally, as my personality is prone to frustration and stubbornness. What will the negative impact be to myself if I provide empathy and relinquish my privilege, so I can more meaningfully address the requests of my employees? Will the negative impact to the employee/team be worse if I don’t exert the real effort it takes to practice true empathy?
What about in the situations of discipline or correction. The message still fits. If I have to apply a course correction or disciplinary action with an employee, I can, and should bring empathy to each situation. I do have a job to do, and actions must be taken, but that does not mean that they can only be accomplished by an “unthinking, unfeeling robot”. I have the privilege to recognize (or not) the requirements of the job AND the human emotions that these kinds of conversations can generate. So I would pose the question again to you: Are you going to use it?
This isn’t a new topic, and there are many books on leadership that discuss, in minute detail, the use of empathy as a leadership tool. But I’ve very rarely seen management and real leaders identify that their choice to practice active empathy is a choice that comes with the necessary actions of relinquishing comfort and privilege. I thought it may be a good opportunity to throw a few more cents into the pot!
Original Article Written and Published by Kevin Steele on LinkedIn – 12/01/2016 :
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/empathy-leadership-embracing-uncomfortable-act-needs-kevin-steele/